Filed Ongoing · list
Ten Questions We Ask Before We Take Your Money
A list I keep on a clipboard so that when you talk I have something to look at besides your face.
1. What is the idea, in one sentence, without using the word ‘platform’.
If you use the word platform I will write it down and then underline it until the paper gives up. That is your feedback.
2. Who is this for, besides you, your cousin, and a fictional user named Josh.
Josh is not a market. Josh is a warning.
3. What happens if it works.
Most people have not considered this and become frightened. This is the most productive part of the meeting.
4. What happens if it doesn’t.
You will email me in nine months and say the market wasn’t ready. I will invoice you for agreeing.
5. Have you already told your spouse.
If no: good, we can still stop. If yes: I am sorry.
6. Do you want a logo, or do you want to be left alone.
Be honest. I can do either. The logo will be a moth.
7. How did you find me.
If you say LinkedIn I will end the call. If you say “a guy at the Chamber” I will end the call and eat.
8. Are you prepared for a drawing of a spider.
This is not a joke. It is the onboarding.
9. Can you pay an invoice that will make you angry.
If you cannot be angry and pay, we are not a fit. There are many firms that will make you angry for free.
10. Why are you still talking.
This is rhetorical. Please stop. I have written enough to bill you.